Box Office Predictions - Dr. Seuss Edition
March 14th, 2008 | 2:52 pm est |
Predicting the box office is a dangerous game
Full of dangerous traps and movies so lame
All the sequels, prequels, and more of the same
That surly my friends you would think they’d feel shame
But this weekend will prove like weekends before
They know what they’re doing, they do know the score
For Horton will surely put butts in the seats
With parents buying plenty of popcorn and treats
45 Million seems a very safe number
Even in the middle of a box office slumber
For the studio to expect, to wish for, to dream
And the suits will let loose with a delightedish scream
People love dinosaurs and humans with spears
And action and spectacle and chases and tears
So the prehistoric hijinx of 10,000 B.C.
Should take in 19 more million you see
But if mixed martial arts are more to your taste
Then Never Back Down you must run to with haste
Add to the film’s probably 9 million dollars
And fill up the theater with whoops and with hollars
Martin Lawrence and Raven Symone will attest
that their film College Road Trip should soak up the rest
Of the family film audience not headed for Seuss
expect a 7 million dollar box office goose
Doomsday the thriller should round out the top five
it’s about scientists keeping humans alive
they quarantine a country to contain the Reaper Virus
Pray for a sequel where they do the same for Miley Cyrus
hello allmovie.com,
That was a real great treat,
To have a movie review be so neat
Thank you for the laughs and factoids
And just know, Horton will not encunter any antroids
SO please let me tell you Mr. Perry sir
Keep up the good work on your reviews, fer sure.
Like you have a gift, man, for a keen predictablity
Of what box office moolah will “gross”, indubidably.
(PS. Sorry if I misspelled the last word, that’s tricky to pronounce let alone spell!)
Thanks for the review!
-Amber
In all of the city, there’s no one more witty
No critic so clever, so clever as he
Silver screen fans shout “He is our man!”
“We can’t get enough of poetic Perry!!”
What a cute ditty!
I wish I was witty
To comment in rhyme as well!
It’s a nice way to round up
The weekend, uh, round up
This poem just doesn’t sell.
There once was a guy who thought it was cute to write his own poetry in the style of Dr. Seuss. I kicked him in the teeth.
Oh look, I found a picture of Captain Siberia!
That one guy who actually drove across the country to kill a man over an internet dispute has given too much credence to the league of internet tough guys.
Captain Siberia sure is a tough name.