Horror fans living on the coasts have it easy, not only do they get to see all of the latest limited-release fright flicks in a proper theater setting while us Midwesterners are forced to twiddle our thumbs and wait (and wait and wait) for the eventual DVD release, but between the Fangoria Festival of Fear and Chiller Theater expos, they frequently get to schmooze with some of the highest-profile figures that our scrappy little genre has to offer. It’s been nearly two decades since the Fangoria Weekend of Horrors rolled through Detroit and Linnea Quigley showed an enthusiastic Motor City crowd how to aerobicise with the creatures of the night, leaving some Hockey Town horror fiends to wonder if our genre heroes had finally forsaken us to suffer in a city that increasingly resembles the set of some B-grade, post-apocalyptic shocker while they party it up in Los Angeles and New Jersey.

Sure, we can always drive to Cleveland for Cinema Wasteland or hop over to Chicago for the scaled-down Fangoria Weekend of Horrors, but after getting gouged for gas, springing for two nights in a hotel, and snatching up that three-day pass, who’s got any cash left to spend in those ultra-swank dealer rooms?

Thankfully, Detroit-area horror fans have some good friends in the form of The Skeleton Factory and Atomic Devil Entertainment – two groups that are determined to keep our crumbling city screaming. Having recently completed their ninth film, Born of Earth, The Skeleton Factory has taken the initiative needed to pick up the torch dropped by Fangoria so many years ago. The result was a horror convention that, while admittedly small in stature, was truly towering in its devotion to the fans. Not only did the modest-sized dealer room sport some truly classy collectibles, but it also gave local filmmakers like the folks at Evil Genuis Entertainment an opportunity to promote and screen their films in addition to providing fans with a rare opportunity to shake hands with such genre legends as Texas Chainsaw Massacre director Tobe Hooper, four-time Jason Vorhees Kane Hodder, Candyman star Tony Todd, and Detroit horror-con vet Quigley as well.

For anyone who may have found their optimism dwindling when headlining guest of honor George A. Romero had to cancel his appearance just a week before the convention, The Skeleton Factory and Atomic Devil Entertainment should be commended for pulling off a truly phenomenal 11th-hour save. By securing both Hooper and Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 star Caroline Williams as last-minute guests, they not only highlighted their devotion to the fans, but proved without a shadow of a doubt that Detroit’s fighting spirit is still alive and well.

Friday 4:35pm

Having just arrived at the Holiday Inn Select where Cinema Wasteland is being held, the first order of business was a simple challenge: Race through the dealer room and return to the front door with the most ridiculous (or coolest) item you can find within ten minutes. It wasn’t an easy task considering the sheer volume of movies, posters, t-shirts, zombie teddy bears, and other assorted oddities scattered through the main floor, and as I raced past Mink Stole, Tom Towles,Catriona MacColl, Dyanne Thorne, and Sid Haig I nearly melted into such a mess of quivering, star-struck gunk that I forgot my mission. Thankfully, on my way back to the door - still empty-handed and with only ninety-seconds to spare - I caught a glimpse of a no-budget shocker entitled Scrotal Vengeance and promptly made my purchase. It was a solid slice of cheesy sleaze, though my con-companions also had a strong showing with a copy of “Turkish I Spit on Your Grave,” a “Jaguar Lives!” poster, and a truly bad ass Christopher Lee patch.

Friday 6:00pm: Paura preview

My head was still spinning from the delights of the dealer’s room when it came time for the preview of “Paura,” the Lucio Fulci documentary by producer Mike Baronas. Whereas Mario Bava has Tim Lucas working diligently to keep his legacy alive, Fulci has Baronas. A humble and soft-spoken sort, Baronas was producing DVD supplements for companies like Media Blasters when he decided to write a book about the legendary Italian filmmaker. But when Baronas’ Fulci tome ultimately failed to materialize (at least as of this writing), the ambitious producer decided to focus his efforts on compiling the interviews he had conducted with many of the director’s contemporaries into a DVD centered around one question: “What is your fondest memory of Lucio Fulci?” According to Baronas it wasn’t an easy task either, as he and his producing partner Kit Gavin were frequently pointed down dead-end roads by jealous journalists while struggling to overcome a language barrier that may have dissuaded the less determined. Most disheartening of all, however, was the announcement that Baronas’ project had nearly been sidelined by none other than Fulci’s daughters Camilla and Antonella – who came up with a suspiciously similar project after being contacted by the resourceful biographer. Thankfully for every setback there seemed to be a decent leap forward, and with a little help from like-minded journalists like Stephen Thrower, Baronas and Gavin were able to assemble an impressive, heartfelt tribute to the man responsible for such genre classics as “The Beyond” and “The Gates of Hell.” Despite the fact that Fulci may not have been the most likable – or well-groomed - fellow according to the “Paura” highlights showcased by Baronas, it’s obvious that his contemporaries respected his artistry and creative vision a great deal.

Friday, 8:00pm: European Horror Panel with Catriona MacColl and Giovanni Lombardo Radice.

This was the event that the author was most looking forward to this oddball weekend - a rare opportunity to hear firsthand what it was like to work with some of the biggest names in Italian horror history from two of the actors that fans love best. Getting the discussion underway by asking the two actors about their initial impressions of Fulci, the moderators coaxed some pretty fascinating responses from their amicable guests. It had only been two hours since one of the interviewees on “Paura” had joked about Lucio Fulci’s notoriously awful personal hygiene by claiming that Fulci was frequently referred to by the nickname “Lucio Pulci” (”pulci” being Italian for “flea”), so it was amusing to hear that the usually unwashed director was actually well-dressed and on his best behavior during his initial meeting with MacColl – radiant in black at the evening’s proceedings. Radice’s observations seemed much more in keeping with common consensus regarding Fulci, as he recalled the director relentlessly berating his cast and crew before landing in front of Radice and gently asking how his day had been going. According to MacColl, Fulci didn’t suffer prima donnas lightly, and gleefully accepted every opportunity to take them down a peg or two. An interesting bit of trivia emerged when Radice admitted that he had beaten out Michele Soavi for the sidekick role in Ruggero Deodato’s “The House on the Edge of the Park,” though after a brief comment about all of the drugs and partying on that particular set things got fairly awkward when a rambling angel dust addict attempted to elicit rehab tips from the star. Later, Radice would go on to voice his distaste regarding both his character in Umberto Lenzi’s “Cannibal Ferox” and the film as a whole, colorfully musing, ” I didn’t know what to do with that fucking character, that guy was a piece of shit” before deriding the director for claiming to be “better than Capra” and the film as being both fascist and racist. MacColl too seemed to take issue with many of the movies she had appeared in, at one revealing that she visited a psychotherapist in an attempt to understand why she would agree to appear in such pictures. Surprisingly, MacColl would go on to rail against the effects of violent video games on impressionable children.

Radice’s favorite film that he appeared in from that era was Antonio Margheriti’s “Cannibal Apocalypse” due to its smart screenplay and carefully crafted allusions to the emerging AIDS epidemic, while MacColl’s was Fulci’s “The Beyond” for the film’s dreamlike atmosphere – a trait that she claims allows the viewer to read whatever they may into the proceedings. As she so poetically put it, “The point is not the object, but the eye watching that object.”

Friday, 9:00pm: Roy Frumkes introduces his new “ultimate edition” of “Document of the Dead.”

Frumkes seems like a hell of a nice guy, but I’ve seen the original “Document of the Dead,” and at the moment my gears were spinning much too watch a bunch of talking heads for ninety-plus minutes. I arrived late and left before the film started, thought it was interesting to hear some of Frumkes’ anecdotes regarding Wes Craven’s “Last House on the Left.” Back when the film was first released in 1972, Frumkes had written the director to express his appreciation for the controversial classic. Much to Frumkes’ surprise, a box arrived in the mail shortly thereafter containing all of the elements for Last House on the Left, along with a note from Craven that read, “If you like it so much, you can have it.” Years later, Frumkes would delve into his archives to discover that he was the proud owner of footage that most folks never even knew existed – including the film’s long-rumored sex scenes, which the producers had excised after deciding that Last House should be more a horror film than a sex-centric roughie. Those particular elements, only recently discovered after Frumkes thought he had unearthed everything he had, are apparently set to appear on a future DVD release of the film.

Friday, 11:30pm: Assault on Precinct 13 star Austin Stoker introduces a 16mm print of John Carpenter’s seminal siege-film classic.

Unfortunately the crowd was fairly sparse for this screening of the rugged, pan-and-scanned, pink-hued print of Carpenter’s influential action thriller, though a chance to see it in the company of star Stoker was a rare treat that the few who were present are sure to remember fondly. While it was obvious from the screaming bleeding through from the lobby there was much fun being had just a few feet away from our darkened screening room, the eager crowd was instantly transfixed from the first snares of the film’s distinct title theme (which was instantly and inexplicably dubbed “Cuban Sandwich” by the crew who couldn’t recall the actual title of the song – which, upon verification, was “Assault on Precinct 13 (Main Title).”) The movie itself may have looked like it was developed in a vat of Kool-Aid and later used to tow a boat to the beach, but damned if it wasn’t as entertaining as ever.

Saturday, 10:00am:

The previous night, just as the dealer room doors were about to close, I had been drooling over a copy of Tim Lucas’ twelve-pound tome Mario Bava: All the Colors of the Dark; lamenting the fact that I was on a tight budget and wanted my daughter to receive a college education one day if she so desired. Just as I was about to walk away, the dealer mentioned that he could knock a tidy sum off of the asking price in order to move his only copy (chances are good the table would have collapsed if he had any more than one on display at a time, anyway). The moment the doors opened on Saturday morning, yours truly was the first in line - credit card in hand and eager to make the big purchase. Fortunately the book was still there, and well worth every penny. Thirty-one pages in to the stunning, 1125 page book, I’m still overwhelmed by the sheer volume of amazing photographs and loving attention to detail. Mr. Lucas really outdid himself on this one, and had I not been permanently banned from the Mobius Home Video Forums perhaps I’d convey this to him personally.

Saturday, 11:50am:

I’m still high from my big purchase when I walk by Mink Stole and accidentally make eye contact. As a lifelong John Waters fan I’m dying to tell her how much I lover her work, but I have a problem with dropping $20 for an autograph so I’m generally not one to approach the celebrity tables at these conventions. Still, I couldn’t resist after she flashed a warm smile, and I had to inquire about the possibility of Mondo Trasho ever being released to DVD. Unfortunately she doesn’t think that will ever happen due in large part to the music rights. Later, after relaying the fact that this was only her second convention appearance and that her first was a complete disaster, she asked if I wanted a signed photo.

After being in conventionland for the past twenty-four hours or so, it was time to head to the local megaplex to check out The Ruins. I was a big fan of the novel (what can I say, I’m a sucker for downers), and though the movie wasn’t anywhere near as hopeless and excruciating, it was just grim and gruesome enough to make me forget the wrist-slashing source material for ninety minutes or so. For my full review head over over here and click on the “Review” tab.

The rest of the day was largely spend ogling the various dealer tables and exercising as much restraint as humanly possible. As night fell over the Wasteland, the horror hounds came out in packs. The lobby after midnight is no place for the faint of heart, but for the real action you have to hang out with the smokers in front of the hotel. Thankfully the weather was accommodating, and when a bus pulled up carrying a crew of airline pilots and stewardesses, they received a hero’s welcome from a rowdy horde of black clad weirdos – poor bastards probably didn’t even know what hit ‘em, but they did seem to have a sense of humor about the whole thing and waved to the crowd like they were the guests of honor at a ticker tape parade.

Sunday, 11:00am

After an overpriced hotel restaurant breakfast it was time to hit the dealer room one last time before packing our bags and going home. “Cuban Sandwich” was still echoing through my brain as I walked past the autograph tables and locked eyes with Otis himself – Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer star Tom Towles. Still leery of autographs but unable to contain my glee over the fact that I was standing face to face with the man himself, I nodded my head, blurted out the first word that came to mind – “Genius” – and stood there like a brain-dead fanboy as he held out his hand and introduced himself (as if that was necessary). Ever the awkward one at the autograph tables, I shook his hand, hastily blurted out my name, and promptly disappeared into the crowd. What can I say, I didn’t have another $20 to drop for an autograph but I wouldn’t have had the willpower to say “no” had he asked.

In contrast to the rainy drive down to Ohio, we cruised back into Michigan under azure blue skies. Barely a cloud could be seen as we crossed the border, set the cruise control, and reflected on a weekend that was almost too weird for words. Should it be said that I’ve failed to capture the strangeness of Cinema Wasteland here, however, one can always experience it for oneself when the quiet town of Strongville – or at least the Holiday Inn Select – is once again overrun with the rowdy, horror-loving legions of the damned October 3rd, 4th, and 5th of 2008.

I share all this not to brag, but simply to note that while watching the telecast at the home of a dear friend in LA I was still as caught up in the show as I always am. Even though I saw first-hand the amount of fakery and construction that goes into the telecast – the red carpet, the cheesy gigantic Oscars that flank the people who enter the theater, the fact that the Kodak theater anchors a mall – I suspended my disbelief without ever thinking about it. I screamed and yelled and carried on when something surprised me, I bitched and moaned when I felt the winner was less than deserving (I’m looking at you editor of The Bourne Ultimatum), and I still marvel at the sheer star-power of great actors and marvel at the mysterious skill of the writers and directors I adore.

And the show this year was as worthy of love as any in recent memory. Here are a few of the many memorable moments and innovations.

1. Jon Stewart was arguably a perfect host. He did not dominate the program, he simply guided it with a steady hand. No joke brought the show to a halt, and many of them were pretty savvy insider bits especially the montage of binoculars and telescopes, and the montage of bad dreams. These segments gently spoofed traditional elements of the show. But Stewart’s crowning moment of the night, and for my money one of the all-time great moments by any host in the telecast’s history, came when he brought Markéta Irglová back after the orchestra cut her off before she could say anything after winning the award for Best Song. She was allowed to give a speech as warm and touching and concise as the movie. This brings me to the next best thing about the night…

2. The acceptance speeches were full of genuine excitement and passion. From Tilda Swinton’s honest shock to the thunderously thankful creators of the best documentary short winner, to Marion Cotillard, to the duo from Once, many of the speeches came off as overwhelmingly heartfelt. There is absolutely no reason for the producers of the telecast to ever cut off a winner. These people, whether they are the sound effects editors, or the animated short directors, or the actors deserve to have as long as they want.

3. Having the presenters pre-record the reading of the nominees names was a masterstroke. No more stumbling over difficult names, no more having a nominee’s moment in the sun ruined by a glitch with the microphone, and no more self-conscious giggling when the presenters get tongue-tied made for a very smooth telecast that clocked in at a swift three hours and eighteen minutes.

4. Diablo Cody set a record for the largest visible tattoo ever seen on an Oscar winner.

5. Ethan Coen’s terse, gracious, humble acceptance speeches.

6. Daniel Day-Lewis being knighted by Helen Mirren.

7. Martin Scorsese getting one more joke out of having to wait so long to win his first Oscar.

8. Brad Bird giving credit to the high school guidance counselor who never believed that he would make a living making movies.

9. Only four films took home multiple awards this year, underscoring the fact that the Academy recognized this was a fantastic movie year full of films worthy of your time and attention.

10. The lifetime achievement award for Robert Boyle, a man whose amazing work for decades connected the show directly with a master like Alfred Hitchcock. Whenever the Oscar show can seamlessly teach history, whole new generations of movie fans are born.

Follow through the jump for the official flyer, along with links and a call back to our previous year’s coverage. Also be on the lookout for our Convention Report next week, where we fill you in on all of the wonderfully weird happenings of this year’s installment.

ADDITIONAL CONVENTION FACTOIDS

– Shawnee Smith (The Blob, Saw) admitted that Diane Lane was originally supposed to play her part in The Stand miniseries, but had to drop out due to a pregnancy.

– In the same panel discussion, she also dropped some interesting knowledge on the inner workings of the Saw filmmaking process, admitting that she only spent a half-day on the set of the first film, while Saw II’s ending was written just one week before filming.

– Fangoria, the world’s longest-running horror magazine, has been in monthly publication since 1979. Since then, they’ve branched into the world of straight-to-video horror (I, Zombie, Lady of the Lake), and into the airwaves with their Sirius satellite show Fangoria Radio, as well as Fangoria TV, which can be accessed online.

INDEPENDENT PRODUCTIONS FEATURED AT THE CON

• Official MySpace Page

• Official Site

• Official Site

• Deadpit.com

• Official Site

• Official Site

• Official Site