Robert Rodriguez has been responsible for some of the most intense sexual chemistry I’ve ever had with men I’ve never met. Obviously, he works with reasonably (or incredibly) attractive actors in the first place, but somehow, when he directs these guys on screen, he’s able to bring out a visceral, masculine hotness in them that surpasses the doability they exude on their own. Desperado, for instance, came out when I was 14 years old, and even when I watch the gunfight scene in the bar today, it still blows me away how well Antonio Banderas parlays a delicious and refined suavity into an erotic masterclass in badassery as the gunfight ensues. No offense to the casts of any of John Woo’s movies, but I’ve never been more fixated on a man wielding double hand cannons. And more recently in Planet Terror, I don’t even know if I would have recognized Freddy Rodriguez from Six Feet Under, but I know that watching him in ass-kicking, zombie-slashing, rescue-your-girl-and-then-attach-a-machine-gun-to-her-leg mode is an experience that even my deepest adolescent fantasies couldn’t improve on. I saw a clip or two of Freddy in some promotional interviews and don’t get me wrong, he’s a cutie, but he evokes none of the same blush-response that he does as El Wray. Maybe I’m an exhibitionist for exposing my fetishes to the masses, but I can’t believe I’m the only girl who takes such amorous delight in Rodriguez’s leading men. So thanks Rob, for sending us your messengers of sexiness again and again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be dreaming about Clive Owen’s scenes in Sin City 2.
Fans of The Chin rejoice… the trailer for the Evil Dead icon’s long-awaited “Bruce”-versus-the Chinese God of War epic My Name is Bruce has finally dropped, and from the looks of things this one is going to be an absolute blast!
(At least it couldn’t be much worse than Alien Apocalypse, but who’s keeping score?)
Kudos to the folks who cut this giddy little trailer for seamlessly cramming together (a rip-off of?) the theme from The Terminator and House of Pain’s Jump Around before really cranking the zaniness up to eleven by utilizing one of the most manic moments from Danny Elfman’s score for Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. This one kinda looks like Army of Darkness without the time travel and with Campbell just playing an Ash-ified version of himself rather than the genuine, chainsaw-pawed article, and short of that elusive Evil Dead 4, really, what more could us loyal fans hope for?
You may not know this, but there is an alternate world of cinema out there starring none other than America’s favorite pretty boy talent, Brad Pitt, which appears nowhere on his filmography, nor does he rack up frequent flyer miles for that illustrious Oscar with any of these credits. It is a world that saw the Pittster fly to the Moon, travel time and be adored by millions of hippie harpies as an arena rock god. This is a world that could have been, if only the star had sealed the deal on that last audition – or even worse, lived up to his obligations and seen a production through to fruition.
With the recent announcement of Pitt’s jumping ship on Kevin MacDonald’s ensemble drama State of Play, All Movie takes a gander at the superstar’s bumpy track record of ditched projects and near-missed considerations. Is this a tale of super psyche run wild or a simple case of finicky palette dating back decades? While only his mother may know the real answer, at least we can have fun debating what could have been if Brad and Hollywood had just shaken on it and made movie history.
In case you have yet to reach Maximum Media Saturation on brilliant young Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody, may we present a brief speculative bio on — who else — Diablo Cody!
Not only is Diablo Cody an “alluring person and writer” with an IQ of over 140 (according to certain internet movie message boards), but rumor has it Diablo Cody is also working on a cure for cancer, has a fool-proof plan for peace in the Middle East, and has developed a clean-burning alternative fuel source that will stop global warming and cost pennies a gallon. What’s more, Diablo Cody has also designed a series of revolutionary jet packs that will change the way mankind travels, as well as a brilliant new rocket propulsion system that will get us to Mars by 2010. Scientists who have studied Diablo Cody’s insanely complex DNA strands have recently revealed that her unique genetic structure could prove the key to opening parallel dimensions that, to this point in history, no one even knew existed.
Of course Diablo Cody is thought to be a shoo-in for the Best Screenplay Oscar, but why stop there? Some folks are saying that Diablo Cody is also a front-runner for a Nobel Peace prize, and could very well be the dark horse candidate for the 2008 presidential elections…
Addendum - 12.12.7: Lest anyone mistake this playful jab at the hype machine as any sort of personal attack on Diablo Cody, I’d like to add that having now seen Juno twice, the buzz over this bold new voice is worth every ounce of the praise that has been heaped upon it; it’s heartfelt, remarkably original, and absolutely hilarious. There’s no question that it will make my year-end list in multiple categories (including, of course, Best Screenplay), and having just interviewed Mrs. Cody as well as Juno director Jason Reitman, I can testify that she is every bit as charming and personable as one might expect after seeing the film or reading her memoirs. Keep an eye on this blog for the full interview later next week, and in the meantime why not dash out to your local bookstore and pick up a copy of Candy Girl for yourself – it’s a wildly entertaining read, and a fine introduction the author’s engaging and inimitable writing style.
Robert Rodriguez has been responsible for some of the most intense sexual chemistry I’ve ever had with men I’ve never met. Obviously, he works with reasonably (or incredibly) attractive actors in the first place, but somehow, when he directs these guys on screen, he’s able to bring out a visceral, masculine hotness in them that surpasses the doability they exude on their own. Desperado, for instance, came out when I was 14 years old, and even when I watch the gunfight scene in the bar today, it still blows me away how well Antonio Banderas parlays a delicious and refined suavity into an erotic masterclass in badassery as the gunfight ensues. No offense to the casts of any of John Woo’s movies, but I’ve never been more fixated on a man wielding double hand cannons. And more recently in Planet Terror, I don’t even know if I would have recognized Freddy Rodriguez from Six Feet Under, but I know that watching him in ass-kicking, zombie-slashing, rescue-your-girl-and-then-attach-a-machine-gun-to-her-leg mode is an experience that even my deepest adolescent fantasies couldn’t improve on. I saw a clip or two of Freddy in some promotional interviews and don’t get me wrong, he’s a cutie, but he evokes none of the same blush-response that he does as El Wray. Maybe I’m an exhibitionist for exposing my fetishes to the masses, but I can’t believe I’m the only girl who takes such amorous delight in Rodriguez’s leading men. So thanks Rob, for sending us your messengers of sexiness again and again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be dreaming about Clive Owen’s scenes in Sin City 2.
You may not know this, but there is an alternate world of cinema out there starring none other than America’s favorite pretty boy talent, 
