The producers of the oddball Finnish “Star Trek” fan film “Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning” are back, and this time they’ve cooked up something truly original.

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Got a high-octane action flick (perhaps of the comic book variety) that you’re looking to sell to a multiplex crowd and wondering what music to slap over that seizure-inducing, seven-frames-per-cut-maximum trailer… might we suggest the track “Hell Above Water” by the now-defunct UK electronica-goth legends Curve?

Perhaps one of the most under-appreciated and influential techno-based bands of the 1990s, Curve was the collaborative creation of guitarist Dean Garcia and Toni Halliday, and created atmospheric music that could be at once ferocious, vulnerable, sensual, and hypnotic. Don’t believe us? Take a listen to any Garbage album and try to deny that it’s a more mainstream reworking of the exact same musical model. As enjoyably poppy and radio-friendly as the music of Garbage may be, it sounds downright anemic compared to the overwhelming sonic assault of their primary influence.

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Inspired by the Kung Fu Flicks series I had previously posted about and still lamenting the lack of fun choices on Detroit area movie screens, yours truly has partnered with Synapse Films and the Emagine Theaters to cook up a mondo bizarro movie series that is absolutely guaranteed to overload your cerebral cortex with some of the most outrageous cult films ever produced!

Every Thursday evening in April, Detroit area moviegoers are invited to come out to the Novi Emagine and experience the seedier side of cinema as we present a series of $7 double features featuring everything from punk rock zombies and flesh-eating schoolgirls to alien parasites, demonic heavy metal bands, debauched detectives, and gore drenched winos!

This isn’t Rodriguez and Tarantino’s Grindhouse folks… this is the REAL DEAL!

The complete schedule follows the jump.

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Sure it might be a time for love and romance, but a science fiction film will be the box office champ this weekend. Doug Liman’s Jumper should score big with no other film like it out there in the marketplace. For that same reason the big screen adaptation of The Spiderwick Chronicles has the kind of built-in name recognition that should drive it to within striking distance of the top spot. Step Up 2 The Streets should quietly amass solid attendance numbers thanks to the popularity of the first film. Fool’s Gold will tumble due to the increased competition, but should round out the top five along with Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins.

How It Will Look on Monday:
Jumper: 30 Million
The Spiderwick Chronicles: 28 Million
Step Up 2 The Streets: 14 Million
Fool’s Gold: 10 Million
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins: 9 Million

From Twitch comes our first ever look at footage from Choke, the adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk’s book, which is premiering at Sundance this week. The clips of the flick are interspersed with a short interview with first-time director Clark Gregg, who’s sure to come under heavy scrutiny from devotees of the source material. Palahniuk fans looking for the grit of David Fincher’s Fight Club will be disappointed, but I think the stark look of Gregg’s movie will work really well with the story. See for yourself after the jump.

Meanwhile, Yahoo has the teaser trailer for JJ Abrams’ Star Trek.

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A much-debated source of cinematic speculation ever since the mysterious, untitled trailer debuted before Transformers in the summer of 2007, producer J.J. Abrams’ attempt to create an iconic American movie monster combines Godzilla-style mayhem with Blair Witch Project-style storytelling in a way that’s sure to rattle both monster movie fans and disaster film junkies alike. Presented as found footage discovered by the U.S. government in “the area formerly known as Central Park,” Cloverfield opens as New York couple Jason (Mike Vogel) and his girlfriend Lily (Jessica Lucas) prepare a warm going away party for Jason’s brother Rob (Michael Stahl-David) – a promising young professional who has recently accepted a high-profile job offer in Japan. As the party gets underway, Rob’s mentally deficient best friend Hud (T.J. Miller) wanders the room on a mission to videotape as many fond farewells for his soon-to-be-departed pal as possible. When, in the middle of the party, the lights flicker out and a massive explosion rocks midtown Manhattan, the group quickly discovers that they are dealing with a destructive force the likes of which mankind has never seen – leaving Hud with the camera still in hand, ready to capture the entire ensuing ordeal. Reviewing a film like Cloverfield is a trick endeavor if one chooses to respect the remarkable lengths that producers of the film went to in order to keep the primary aspects of the plot a secret, yet by placing the film in a historical context (both cinematic and otherwise) it’s easy to see why it is so effective in rattling viewers who are capable of stomaching the disorienting camerawork. (Note: viewers who suffer from severe motion sickness will either want to take a healthy dose of Dramamine and set a safe distance for the screen, or simply wait to watch the film when it comes to home video.)

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Here’s a sampling of the new titles hitting DVD shelves today:

3:10 to Yuma: Christian Bale and Russell Crowe team up to perpetuate the myth that everyone in the Old West was faking their American accents.

Smiley Face: Despite more good reviews than bad, this stoner comedy starring Anna Farris barely made it into theaters. Seems destined for cult status.

Death Sentence: Kevin Bacon treads into Charles Bronson territory, spurring hope for a Kinjite remake.

Sunshine: The guy who reinvented zombie flicks reinvents the space-adventure.

Eagle vs. Shark: The guy from Flight of the Conchords stars in this quirky indie romantic-comedy without that other guy from Flight of the Conchords.

The makers of the enigmatic Cloverfield have released a widget that features a new extended clip from the movie. There’s also a contest to see who can help spread the widget the most. The winner gets a private screening of the movie.

As if I wasn’t nerding out about Jumper enough, this new trailer is even cooler than the first one. Notice too that the release date has been moved up one day. The flick will now be out on February 14. It’s a Thursday, which is weird, but it’s Valentine’s Day, which is not.

The other thing worth noting is the fact that Fox has provided embed code for the trailer right on the movie’s official site. Allowing bloggers and Myspacers to embed trailers on the up-and-up is something that’s long overdue, so kudos to Fox, and here’s hoping other studios will be quick to follow.

DANA ROWADER: So, first off, what did you think of the Heroes “finale”? Thumbs up or down?
MATT TOBEY: Thumbs up, with reservations.
TRACIE COOPER: Thumb up and slightly to the left.
AMANDA VAN KEUREN: I still can’t think of it as a finale-finale, but I actually thought it was kinda crappy.
HEATHER PHARES: I thought it was pretty obviously and clunkily put together.
AVK: Yeah, sloppy to the max.
MT: I will say that I liked it better than the season-one finale.
DR: I was going to ask that, too…how people think it compared to the somewhat disappointing season-one finale.
STEPHEN THOMAS ERLEWINE: It’s hard for me to separate my thoughts about the finale from my overall frustration/disappointment with this season.
MT: Much like the entire second season, the episode seemed like they were making it up as they went along.
HP: Good point.
AVK: As disappointing finales go, I guess it was OK.
HP: Yeah, I think season-one finale was better, if only because it was clearly intended to be a finale. However, this was more action-packed and felt like there was more at stake.
TC: It felt very rushed — Peter nuking the virus after all that buildup, especially. Like…”n/m, no virus.”
AVK: Yeah…psych!

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Evangelion 1.0: You Are (Not) Alone, the latest edition to every otaku’s favorite mindf*#k franchise, came out in September in Japan to the tune of about $14 million US, making it the top grossing Evangelion film out of the three that have been released over the past ten years. For those unschooled in Neon Genesis Evangelion, it’s an anime franchise birthed in 1995 with a 26 episode TV series about a small group of teenagers who face painful past traumas while piloting giant robots to battle earth-threatening monsters. But the thing about Evangelion is that it’s one of those instances where it’s “not really about that.” It’s actually an arty, philosophical treatise on the loneliness of humanity’s inherent separateness, imparted partly through a conventional story, and partly through an otherwise incomprehensibly heavy use of religious symbolism. And, towards the very end, it gives up the traditional narrative altogether in favor of a seizure-inducing abstraction, edited together in a frantically nonlinear style.

That mostly indiscernible ending was the reason all the movies thus far were made: to retell key parts of the story and provide the literal ending to the series, since it wasn’t at all clear from the wild allegorical imagery that comprised those last few episodes what actually happened to the characters. Also, according to urban legend, the studio received death threats for airing an ending that was so bewildering, even by anime standards. Anyway, the four-part film series that Evangelion 1.0 is planned to spearhead is called Rebuild of Evangelion, and its aim is to — you guessed it — retell the story of the original series. This first film roughly comprises episodes 1-6.

This seems a little weird to me, but apparently not to Japanese fans, who paid generously to prove their satisfaction with the movie. Word on the street is that Rebuild is meant to simplify that death-threat-inspiringly complex story for new fans, and offer more impressive visual effects than the original budget could afford. This would indeed seem to be the case based on the trailer, which doesn’t appear to include any new footage at all, and on early reviews, which confirm that each frame is essentially taken shot-for-prettier-shot from the show. I guess maybe a franchise that tackles such complicated stuff doesn’t have to do much to help people get more out of it. No word yet on who’ll license Evangelion 1.0 in the States.