A Fire in the Sky for the post-Blair Witch generation, The Fourth Kind purports to present dramatized accounts of actual unexplained events. If only moviegoers were as gullible as they were back when that group of college filmmakers vanished in the Maryland woods without a trace, perhaps screenwriter/director Olatunde Osunsanmi’s sham shocker would have actually had us going there for a minute.

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Sometimes the setup for a film is so tantalizing that when the picture fails miserably, it hurts that much more. Pandorum is certainly one of these instances — a mysterious sci-fi horror freak-out that misses the horror altogether and bores the audience with asinine characters plodding through all-too-familiar territory. Take one part Event Horizon and equal parts Ghosts of Mars and The Descent, then mix them in a dirty blender, and that’s basically Pandorum. It takes a lot from what came before, then sullies things up by botching the execution, time and again. Instead of tension, viewers get frenzied editing. In the place of horror, there is literally a pool of fecal matter. As far as any kind of satisfying mystery, if the picture didn’t already lose its audience even before the halfway point, the rapid right turns in the finale aren’t going to blow anyone’s mind. Unfortunately for the filmmakers, the only thing they blow is a chance to deliver the goods.

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It’s taken decades, but it finally feels as if mainstream American moviegoers are warming to the fact that animation can be used for something other than entertaining the kiddies. Thank Saturday-morning cartoons, Walt Disney’s hang-up with fairy tales, or that “waskally wabbit” Bugs Bunny, but the fact is that somewhere along the line we stopped taking the art form seriously, dismissing it as a container for all things juvenile rather than embracing it as a creative means of exploring adult issues and themes. Shane Acker’s exciting, inventive feature debut is a film that addresses some pretty weighty issues — the collapse of humanity and the importance of questioning authority, among other things — but does so in an intelligent, entertaining manner that proves we need not “shut off our brains” to be entertained.

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Every once in a great while — perhaps only a handful of times each decade — that rare film comes completely out of left field to let us know that there are still some original ideas out there, and that cinema can still be fresh and exciting. District 9 is just such a film.

Perhaps the most original sci-fi feature to come along since the turn of the millennium, it’s also one of the very best in recent memory. Compelling, captivating, occasionally hilarious, and refreshingly unpredictable thanks to a smartly structured script that builds impressive momentum, District 9 surprises at every turn while holding a mirror to society in a way that will likely find the film ranking favorably amongst the best of the genre.

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July, 1989. GoreZone No. 8. Cover story: “Balun insults everyone — Is splatter dead?”

Hardly a triumphant celebration of the sticky stuff for a magazine touting the tag-line “All the splatter that matters” — who could have ever guessed that the kings of gore were about to take over Hollywood? That was one year after Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead II burst up from the fruit cellar to scare us all silly, and two years after then-obscure New Zealand director Peter Jackson’s deliciously vile Bad Taste was speculated to become the next Rocky Horror by GoreZone’ sister publication Fangoria Magazine.

Flash forward to 2009, when Raimi is responsible for what is arguably the most successful comic book film franchise ever and Jackson is sitting pretty with an Oscar for Best director.

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The apocalypse shines an eerie shade of gold in director/co-writer F. Javier Gutiérrez’s haunting, genre-bending take on the downfall of humanity. Shifting gears from domestic drama to rite-of-passage saga to nightmarish thriller with effortless efficiency, Before the Fall (co-written by Juan Velarde) shows that even when death is inevitable, the struggle for survival goes on. And though the film may irritate some for its staunch refusal to fit into any certain genre or mold, it’s precisely that trait that makes it a fascinating treat for fans of innovative and unpredictable cinema.

Shiftless handyman Alejandro (Víctor Clavijo) always lived in the shadow of his older brother — the fallen hero of his small town — and these days Ale has resigned himself to the fact that he will never amount to much of anything.

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Moon is a suspenseful and haunting science fiction drama, a promising feature debut by Duncan Jones, self-consciously modeled after classic films like 2001, Alien, Outland, and especially Douglas Trumbull’s Silent Running. It’s cleverly conceived, and executed with heart and economy.

The production design, with a layer of dirt and grit over everything (including, it almost seems, Sam Bell [Sam Rockwell]) himself, with his sloppy caveman look), quickly conveys the idea of a bare-bones mining operation, designed to deliver the greatest financial rewards for a minimal investment. And while Moon, in the best speculative tradition, is about many things, on one level it’s a scathing critique of late capitalism, and our participation in our own exploitation.

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There’s a certain, sad sci-fi irony when one considers that the first Terminator film to feature a robot with a human heart is also the first film in the series that feels like it has no soul. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was no masterpiece, but at least Jonathan Mostow’s direction was fairly assured, and the grim apocalyptic coda still felt loyal to James Cameron’s original, technologically paranoid concept. The spark was still there, even if it had already begun to fade.

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Please stop paying attention to Megan Fox.

Really.

It’s starting to get out of hand.

Yes, we realize you want to have sex with her…

It’s never going to happen.
Get over it.

Now that we’ve fulfilled our bloggy obligation to have a post dedicated to everyone’s cinematic obsession du jour, back to our regular programming.

Yours Truly,
A Heterosexual Male Whose Idea of Beauty Doesn’t Necessarily Jive with the One Imposed on Us by Jollywood

PS: No, we’re not posting a pic.
PSS: …or hyperlinking her name.

Live near Chicago and looking to kick-start your sci-fi summer the right way?

Well you’re in luck, because the Music Box theater and Rusty Nails are set to deliver fourteen hours of laser-blasting, body-shrinking, space-tripping, damn dirty ape-fighting, enzyme-barfing mayhem to a silver screen near you. That’s right, the Sci-Fi Spectacular is back, and this time special guest Gary Lockwood is dropping by to greet the fans personally.

Tickets are $20 pre-sale at Laurie’s Planet of Sound, and Music Box Theatre and ticketweb.com, and $24 day of show at the door.

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On a scale of aluminum foil to adamantium, X-Men Origins: Wolverine rates a mid-gauge sheet metal. Sturdy as an early summer tent pole yet fragile enough to snap once the heavy fronts roll in, Fox’s notoriously leaked actioner should stand strong against the gentle breeze of Battle for Terra, though it’s likely to be blown away by the blustery winds of Star Trek and Terminator Salvation a few weeks out. From a non-fanboy perspective, it has some exciting action and colorful characters; unfortunately, the special effects vary from impressive to embarrassing, and some additional trimming at the story level might have helped elevate the metallurgical rating to steel status.

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Somewhere along the line, it seems as if our common quest to seek out ideas that were fresh and original in cinema gave way to a deep-seated need to be comforted by the familiar. Sequels, prequels, spin-offs, adaptations, remakes, and reimaginings — all of these things feed into a cycle of creative malaise that, while fleetingly satisfying in the moment, often proves to be less than gratifying upon later reflection. Fortunately, there are still some filmmakers out there who are willing to take the risk and challenge us. Eden Log writer/director Franck Vestiel is just such a talent, following in the footsteps of such visionary filmmakers as Terry Gilliam and Chris Marker in delivering his debut feature, a dystopian nightmare that’s alternately terrifying, intriguing, and confrontational without ever losing sight that its primary function is to entertain.

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The people responsible for Disney’s franchise reboot Race to Witch Mountain could have churned out a by-the-numbers piece of junk, and still made a mint off the parents with fond memories of the originals who dutifully take their kids to see it. Thankfully, everybody involved went the other route, and audiences will be able to tell how much the people involved actually cared about what they were making. Director Andy Fickman, working from a solid screenplay by Matt Lopez and Mark Bomback, creates the cinematic equivalent of a ride on Space Mountain — it’s exhilarating, fun, just a tad scary, and totally satisfying. Dwayne Johnson (the artist formerly known as “The Rock”) plays Jack Bruno, a tough-guy cab driver with a shady past. One day, a pair of very odd teens — Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) and Seth (Alexander Ludwig) — suddenly materialize in the back seat of his taxi. In their overly formal, emotionless speech patterns they ask “Jack Bruno” (both address him by his full name at all times) to take them to a remote location out in the desert. He’s unsure what to make of the pair, but the huge wad of cash they offer cinches the deal. As they drive through the middle of nowhere, a couple of scary black cars appear and begin to menacingly chase the taxi — the first of many well-choreographed action sequences. Thanks to Jack’s skill behind the wheel, he and the kids survive the attack, and slowly the boy and girl — who turn out to be light-years away from home — learn that this human might be the only person they can trust to save not only their own planet, but Earth as well.

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Brimming with hollow ambition, Babylon A.D. is a half-cooked bit of science fiction entertainment that continually falls short in both the smarts and testosterone departments. Simmering when it should sizzle, and confounding when it should astound, this troubled production sadly does not prove its many critics wrong – including its helmer, Mathieu Kassovitz. Publicly condemning the film and the studio just before the release, the director painted a thoroughly troubled production that never was given the chance to flourish, thanks to studio interference during shooting and beyond (the film was pared down at least 15-minutes for its American release). Needless to say, the theatrical cut shows acute signs that something definitely went wrong with this quite splendid looking future tale. For all its barely discernable lofty goals, the pic ends up to be nothing more than flawed Hollywood gloss – albeit a fascinating one at that.

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The Star Wars theatrical experience gets a sloppy kick in the ribs with the arrival of Star Wars: The Clone Wars – a sub-par 3-episode arch from Lucasfilm’s upcoming lackluster animated series of the same name. Undeservedly pushed to the big screen to cash in a quick buck, the computer generated kiddie flick is exactly what fandom has been dreading and the youngest of their kin are sure to eat up – an annoying and utterly boring version of the prequel universe, all presented with an idiot panache that only an 8-year old could appreciate. Make no mistake; this is a far cry from the vibrant and exciting days of Samurai Jack creator Genndy Tartakovsky’s time with the material. This take on The Clone Wars adapts more of a WB Kids attitude as it relays the untold days of Anakin Skywalker’s obnoxious preteen padawan, as bland politics force ridiculous plotlines such as the Jedi’s helping Jabba the Hutt find his farting tadpole kid, Stinky. Yes, it has really come to that.

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Ten years after their first trip to feature film land, veteran paranormal partners Mulder and Scully return with this rather bland exercise in talky morality that does little to make up for its awkward title – or the anticipation that surrounded it. Playing up to a very small amount of the series’ strong points was the flick’s first mistake. In fact, the movie feels more like a weak episode than anything requiring a big screen canvas. As a reboot of the franchise, I Want to Believe spends far too much time rehashing each character’s stereotypical motivations and less time on how their spectacular exploits have affected them. In this area, the picture might just play better to non-followers of the show, though even that doesn’t excuse creators Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz for dreaming up such dull reasoning for this tepid reunion.

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The black clouds had blotted out the sun nearly fifteen minutes ago, giving what was previously a bright summer afternoon an eerie air of impending menace. I was racing down the freeway intent on keeping my date with a seducer of worlds as the rain and hail began to bounce noisily off my windshield, reducing my visibility to virtually zero. Just then, my cell phone began to ring. It was one of Yivo’s human wranglers. The elements were bearing down on her as well, so that both she and the oversexed alien’s harem of intergalactic space babes were forced to seek temporary shelter until the storm could blow over. She warned me that Yivo was feeling a bit deflated this particular afternoon, but I figured human that would only give this humble human a distinct edge over the tentacled menace.

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Note to M. Night Shyamalan: No matter which angle you shoot it from, a mild summer breeze is not terrifying. A hurricane, absolutely; a tornado, most certainly; a typhoon, indubitably. Hell, even an especially large dust devil may prove capable of jangling the nerves of some particularly sensitive anemophobics. Unfortunately (at least for Shyamalan), the continuous scenes of trees ominously rustling in the breeze or fields of grass churning like a menacing green ocean throughout The Happening mostly elicit feelings of tranquility and inner peace rather than paralyzing fear and insurmountable dread – the kiss of death for a film attempting to paint nature as the ultimate enemy of mankind.

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Sad news from Hollywood as the AP reports that actor John Phillip Law has died at an undisclosed illness at the age of 70. Whether you remember him best as the mischievous anti-hero Diabolik from director Mario Bava’s wildly entertaining fumetti-flick of the same name, Pygar the angel from Roger Vadim’s Barbarella, or the vengeful Bill from Death Rides a Horse, odds are that if you’re a fan of movies, you’ve admired Law’s work in some capacity. And while this particular writer may be more inclined to first mention some of Law’s lesser-known films (he also showed up for a supporting role in Otto Preminger’s notorious 1968 comedy Skidoo), it was roles in such undisputed hits as The Russians are Coming, The Russians are Coming and The Golden Voyage of Sinbad that propelled the handsome actor to international stardom.

Law’s AP obit quoted a Los Angeles Times interview from 1966 in which the actor stated, “I’ve had more kicks out of playing far-out things. It’s like putting on a funny face and going out in front of people and going, ‘yaaaaaa.’”

You certainly gave us our fair share of kicks, thanks John.

In commemoration of Law’s passing, we present a series of memorable film trailers featuring the fun-loving star, as well as an illuminating interview regarding his experiences in Skidoo.

Enjoy.

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Got a high-octane action flick (perhaps of the comic book variety) that you’re looking to sell to a multiplex crowd and wondering what music to slap over that seizure-inducing, seven-frames-per-cut-maximum trailer… might we suggest the track “Hell Above Water” by the now-defunct UK electronica-goth legends Curve?

Perhaps one of the most under-appreciated and influential techno-based bands of the 1990s, Curve was the collaborative creation of guitarist Dean Garcia and Toni Halliday, and created atmospheric music that could be at once ferocious, vulnerable, sensual, and hypnotic. Don’t believe us? Take a listen to any Garbage album and try to deny that it’s a more mainstream reworking of the exact same musical model. As enjoyably poppy and radio-friendly as the music of Garbage may be, it sounds downright anemic compared to the overwhelming sonic assault of their primary influence.

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Inspired by the Kung Fu Flicks series I had previously posted about and still lamenting the lack of fun choices on Detroit area movie screens, yours truly has partnered with Synapse Films and the Emagine Theaters to cook up a mondo bizarro movie series that is absolutely guaranteed to overload your cerebral cortex with some of the most outrageous cult films ever produced!

Every Thursday evening in April, Detroit area moviegoers are invited to come out to the Novi Emagine and experience the seedier side of cinema as we present a series of $7 double features featuring everything from punk rock zombies and flesh-eating schoolgirls to alien parasites, demonic heavy metal bands, debauched detectives, and gore drenched winos!

This isn’t Rodriguez and Tarantino’s Grindhouse folks… this is the REAL DEAL!

The complete schedule follows the jump.

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Sure it might be a time for love and romance, but a science fiction film will be the box office champ this weekend. Doug Liman’s Jumper should score big with no other film like it out there in the marketplace. For that same reason the big screen adaptation of The Spiderwick Chronicles has the kind of built-in name recognition that should drive it to within striking distance of the top spot. Step Up 2 The Streets should quietly amass solid attendance numbers thanks to the popularity of the first film. Fool’s Gold will tumble due to the increased competition, but should round out the top five along with Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins.

How It Will Look on Monday:
Jumper: 30 Million
The Spiderwick Chronicles: 28 Million
Step Up 2 The Streets: 14 Million
Fool’s Gold: 10 Million
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins: 9 Million

From Twitch comes our first ever look at footage from Choke, the adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk’s book, which is premiering at Sundance this week. The clips of the flick are interspersed with a short interview with first-time director Clark Gregg, who’s sure to come under heavy scrutiny from devotees of the source material. Palahniuk fans looking for the grit of David Fincher’s Fight Club will be disappointed, but I think the stark look of Gregg’s movie will work really well with the story. See for yourself after the jump.

Meanwhile, Yahoo has the teaser trailer for JJ Abrams’ Star Trek.

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A much-debated source of cinematic speculation ever since the mysterious, untitled trailer debuted before Transformers in the summer of 2007, producer J.J. Abrams’ attempt to create an iconic American movie monster combines Godzilla-style mayhem with Blair Witch Project-style storytelling in a way that’s sure to rattle both monster movie fans and disaster film junkies alike. Presented as found footage discovered by the U.S. government in “the area formerly known as Central Park,” Cloverfield opens as New York couple Jason (Mike Vogel) and his girlfriend Lily (Jessica Lucas) prepare a warm going away party for Jason’s brother Rob (Michael Stahl-David) – a promising young professional who has recently accepted a high-profile job offer in Japan. As the party gets underway, Rob’s mentally deficient best friend Hud (T.J. Miller) wanders the room on a mission to videotape as many fond farewells for his soon-to-be-departed pal as possible. When, in the middle of the party, the lights flicker out and a massive explosion rocks midtown Manhattan, the group quickly discovers that they are dealing with a destructive force the likes of which mankind has never seen – leaving Hud with the camera still in hand, ready to capture the entire ensuing ordeal. Reviewing a film like Cloverfield is a trick endeavor if one chooses to respect the remarkable lengths that producers of the film went to in order to keep the primary aspects of the plot a secret, yet by placing the film in a historical context (both cinematic and otherwise) it’s easy to see why it is so effective in rattling viewers who are capable of stomaching the disorienting camerawork. (Note: viewers who suffer from severe motion sickness will either want to take a healthy dose of Dramamine and set a safe distance for the screen, or simply wait to watch the film when it comes to home video.)

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Here’s a sampling of the new titles hitting DVD shelves today:

3:10 to Yuma: Christian Bale and Russell Crowe team up to perpetuate the myth that everyone in the Old West was faking their American accents.

Smiley Face: Despite more good reviews than bad, this stoner comedy starring Anna Farris barely made it into theaters. Seems destined for cult status.

Death Sentence: Kevin Bacon treads into Charles Bronson territory, spurring hope for a Kinjite remake.

Sunshine: The guy who reinvented zombie flicks reinvents the space-adventure.

Eagle vs. Shark: The guy from Flight of the Conchords stars in this quirky indie romantic-comedy without that other guy from Flight of the Conchords.

The makers of the enigmatic Cloverfield have released a widget that features a new extended clip from the movie. There’s also a contest to see who can help spread the widget the most. The winner gets a private screening of the movie.

As if I wasn’t nerding out about Jumper enough, this new trailer is even cooler than the first one. Notice too that the release date has been moved up one day. The flick will now be out on February 14. It’s a Thursday, which is weird, but it’s Valentine’s Day, which is not.

DANA ROWADER: So, first off, what did you think of the Heroes “finale”? Thumbs up or down?
MATT TOBEY: Thumbs up, with reservations.
TRACIE COOPER: Thumb up and slightly to the left.
AMANDA VAN KEUREN: I still can’t think of it as a finale-finale, but I actually thought it was kinda crappy.
HEATHER PHARES: I thought it was pretty obviously and clunkily put together.
AVK: Yeah, sloppy to the max.
MT: I will say that I liked it better than the season-one finale.
DR: I was going to ask that, too…how people think it compared to the somewhat disappointing season-one finale.
STEPHEN THOMAS ERLEWINE: It’s hard for me to separate my thoughts about the finale from my overall frustration/disappointment with this season.
MT: Much like the entire second season, the episode seemed like they were making it up as they went along.
HP: Good point.
AVK: As disappointing finales go, I guess it was OK.
HP: Yeah, I think season-one finale was better, if only because it was clearly intended to be a finale. However, this was more action-packed and felt like there was more at stake.
TC: It felt very rushed — Peter nuking the virus after all that buildup, especially. Like…”n/m, no virus.”
AVK: Yeah…psych!

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Evangelion 1.0: You Are (Not) Alone, the latest edition to every otaku’s favorite mindf*#k franchise, came out in September in Japan to the tune of about $14 million US, making it the top grossing Evangelion film out of the three that have been released over the past ten years. For those unschooled in Neon Genesis Evangelion, it’s an anime franchise birthed in 1995 with a 26 episode TV series about a small group of teenagers who face painful past traumas while piloting giant robots to battle earth-threatening monsters. But the thing about Evangelion is that it’s one of those instances where it’s “not really about that.” It’s actually an arty, philosophical treatise on the loneliness of humanity’s inherent separateness, imparted partly through a conventional story, and partly through an otherwise incomprehensibly heavy use of religious symbolism. And, towards the very end, it gives up the traditional narrative altogether in favor of a seizure-inducing abstraction, edited together in a frantically nonlinear style.

That mostly indiscernible ending was the reason all the movies thus far were made: to retell key parts of the story and provide the literal ending to the series, since it wasn’t at all clear from the wild allegorical imagery that comprised those last few episodes what actually happened to the characters. Also, according to urban legend, the studio received death threats for airing an ending that was so bewildering, even by anime standards. Anyway, the four-part film series that Evangelion 1.0 is planned to spearhead is called Rebuild of Evangelion, and its aim is to — you guessed it — retell the story of the original series. This first film roughly comprises episodes 1-6.

This seems a little weird to me, but apparently not to Japanese fans, who paid generously to prove their satisfaction with the movie. Word on the street is that Rebuild is meant to simplify that death-threat-inspiringly complex story for new fans, and offer more impressive visual effects than the original budget could afford. This would indeed seem to be the case based on the trailer, which doesn’t appear to include any new footage at all, and on early reviews, which confirm that each frame is essentially taken shot-for-prettier-shot from the show. I guess maybe a franchise that tackles such complicated stuff doesn’t have to do much to help people get more out of it. No word yet on who’ll license Evangelion 1.0 in the States.